Uncle Ron's Ramblings

Hello: Hello, I'm Ronnie Garrett.

Couldn't resist that. As you know from yesterday's column (or you already may have been aware of if you are a dedicated fan) today is the fifth anniversary of the passing of the legendary "Man in Black", Johnny Cash. I already listed suggestions for ways to observe it in yesterday's column.

Pigs, Lipstick Dominate Political Discourse: Since communication is Barack Obama's strong point, let's assume he really did not mean to imply that Sarah Palin is a pig when he said "put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig."

If he did, it would seriously call his judgment in to question. Say what you about the Alaska governor's politics but the former beauty queen is definitely not a pig—she is still an attractive woman at age 44 and after giving birth to five children—the youngest one only five months ago.

Actually this is an attractive group of candidates.

What concerns me is that someone will point out the original comment mentioned lipstick and pit bulls (although it didn't suggest putting lipstick on a pit bull) and that a pundit will dare one of the presidential candidates to try and put lipstick on a pit bull.

I'm sure, of course, that Sen. Obama will show his good judgment by declining.

Love Back On (In) Air: For those who are in love with Love (Jennifer Love Hewitt), there will be two episodes of "Ghost Whisperer" tonight. The show was preempted last week for an update on the fight against cancer.

Announcements

Qi-Gong: Mondays, 1-2 p.m., in the Community Room. All are welcome.

Voter Registration: There will be someone on hand to register voters Mondays at 6 p.m., either in the men's lounge or the Community Room.

ABE

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▪Positive Life Skills Class: Wednesdays, 9-11:30 a.m. PLS is a walk-in self-empowerment program for Starting Over graduates and new guests. It is open to anyone (even staff). Receive a new key chain when you have attended all eight sessions.

▪ABE Incentives: Students will be given a card to be initialed during each walk-in class attended. Once a student has attended 10 walk-in programs, cards can be redeemed for prizes.

▪Advanced Computer Classes: Students need to sign up in ABE for a 15-minute preview with Sanya by September 5 to qualify for this class. The class will be meeting for eight sessions on Wednesdays from 3-4 p.m.

▪Math Study Sessions: Mondays, 3-4 p.m., and Thursdays, 6:30-7:30 p.m., SOSH room.

▪Submit Your Poem: If you like to write poetry in your free time, this is your chance to be a published author! Submit a poem to any staff member in the ABE room and it may be published in the next ABE Newsletter. Also, we will hopefully start another Poetry Jam in the Fall; let us know if you are interested

▪Learn Better Handwriting: No handwriting classes in September. Sign up in ABE for the next class.

▪Writing: Tuesdays, 7-8 p.m., ABE. Improve your basic writing skills under the guidance of a trained instructor.

▪Creative Writing: Starting up again September 11, Thursdays, 6-7 p.m., in the Community Room.

▪Book Club: Inspirational Reading Squad—Monday, 7-8 p.m.

Regular (CFH Book Club)--will be meeting Monday, 8-8:30 p.m. Read books of choosing (approved by ABE staff).

Sign up in ABE or on the ABE bulletin board by the men's lounge.

▪Masterpiece Seminar: September 9-November 4; Tuesdays 6 –7 p.m.

▪DCP: DCP (Developing Capable People) classes will be starting September 17 on Wednesday and Thursday nights, 5:30-8 p.m. Ask your coach to get on the list.

Herald Sports

Bees 12, Hawks 0: Tonight could be the last chance to watch the Hawks at the Cove; they are one game away from elimination.

The Hawks have been outscored 18-0 in the two games in Burlington. The had gone undefeated through their previous playoff games.

The first (and possibly last for this season) game at the Cove is tonight at 6:30 p.m. The fourth and fifth games (if necessary) would be Saturday at noon and Sunday at 1:30 p.m.

MLB NL: Cubs 3, Cardinals 2 (Cubs lead Brewers by 5.5 games; magic number 11); Phillies 6, Brewers 3; Braves 8, Rockies 4; Astros 6, Pirates 0; Padres 11, Giants 3.

MLB AL: Blue Jays 6, White Sox 4 (ChiSox lead Twins by 1; magic number 16); Royals 3, Twins 2 (10); Red Sox-Rays idle (Rays lead BoSox by 2.5; magic number 16); Orioles 6, Indians 3; Angels 7, Mariners 4 (Angels closer Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez ties ex-ChiSox closer Bobby Thigpen with 57 saves in one season); Rangers 6, Athletics 1.

NCAA Football Scores: North Carolina 44, Rutgers 12.

MLS Scores: New England Revolution 4, Chivas USA 0 (Revs trail Columbus Crew by two points and lead Chicago Fire by three points).

WNBA Scores: Fever 74, Liberty 59; Silver Stars 78, Sun 74; Shock 78, Mystics 66; Dream 83, Sparks 72.

Sports Notes: MLB—Two Cubs-Astros games PPD due to Hurricane Ike; Boxing—former homeless teen Nate Campbell holds WBA, WBO, and IBF lightweight crowns; Oscar DeLaHoya parts ways with trainer Floyd Mayweather, Sr.; former middleweight champ Joey Giardello, 78, dies; UFC—Matt Serra says "I want to retire Matt Hughes."

NFL Notes: Hurricane Ike—Ike pushes Ravens-Texans game to Monday night; Bears—ex-Bear Muhsin Muhammad back with Panthers (next Bear opponent) and says Chicago franchise "is where receivers go to die; Colts—Colts rumored to have signed DT LaJuan Ramsey to replace waived DT Ed Johnson; Titans—QB Vince Young says he is committed to Titans; all-pro DT Albert Haynesworth sits again after con-cussion; Eagles—ex-Eagle Terrell Owens says he "got too big" for ex-teammate Donavan McNabb; Raiders—defensive coordinator Rob Ryan says he had no problems with head coach Lane Kiffin; Buccaneers—QB Jeff Garcia unhappy about benching; Chargers—LaDainian Tomlinson sits out practice but says he's fine; Saints—Saints reach settlement with and cut DT Hollis Thomas.

NCAA Football Notes: Ball St.—BSU receiver Dante Love leads nation in all-purpose yards; IU—Hoosier coach Bill Lynch faces old school Ball St. Saturday; Purdue—Boilermaker QB and Heisman candidate Curtis Painter faces first ranked opponent Saturday, number 16 Oregon; OSU—coach Tressel says TB Chris "Beanie" Wells doubtful for number 1 USC Saturday.; Wash. St.-Baylor—Hurricane Ike pushes game between two schools to Friday..

Weather

Today High 74Low 67 Chance Storms

Sat High 79 Low 65 Chance Storms

Sun High 68 Low 54 Chance Storms

Mon High 68 Low 50 Chance Rain

Tue High 72 Low 50 Partly Cloudy

TV Schedule: 16—8 p.m., America's Toughest Jobs; 9-11 p.m., Dateline NBC; 22—8-10 p.m. Ghost Whisperer; 10 p.m., Numb3rs; 25—8-10 p.m., Smackdown; 10-11 p.m., Seinfeld (two episodes); 28—8 p.m., Celebrating the Life Of Ruth Bell Graham (Mrs. Billy Graham); 9 p.m., Don't Forget the Lyrics!; 46—7-10 p.m., Making Healthy Choices Special; 10 p.m., Berean Seventh Day Adventist Church; 10:30 p.m., Joyce Meyer; 57—8-10 p.m., ALMA (American Latin Media Arts) Awards; 10 p.m., 20/20; 69—8 p.m., The Academy; 9 p.m., Paradise Hotel 2; 10-11 p.m., Adventures of Superman (1950's with George Reeves and Jack Larson).

Nation/World

Nation/World Headlines: Hurricane Ike—Ike set to slam Texas coast; Ike bears down on Houston area; dire warnings for Texas small home residents in Ike's path to evacuate; hospitals in Ike's path evacuated; Ike strands freighter in Gulf; Ike could be worst storm to hit Texas since 1983; Zimbabwe—President Robert Mugabe agrees to government of national unity with political foe Morgan Tsvangirai; Mugabe will name cabinet, cede majority to opposition; So. Africa—court dismisses charges against leading South African presidential contender Jacob Zuma; Tunnel Fire—passengers stranded in English channel tunnel fire.